Diary of a Diva

Good Smut

“Did you see the trailer for Fifty Shades of —” “Fuck, no,” I said before Kerry could finish speaking the title. Kerry laughed and nodded in support of my reaction. “My mother told me that book set women

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Dubstep Speaks to Me

I’d been mostly focused on the fish taco in my hand as my friend Ed had been expounding upon his latest lament. Something about an article he’d recently read about the changing cultural practices in another

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Sorry We’re Sorry

You know a marketing campaign has struck a zeitgeist nerve when it manages to create a viral video that positions its product at the center of a national discussion, prompting news outlets and commenters to spread

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And the Emmy Goes To…

David and I got into the car, fastened our seatbelts, and just sat there for a second. I turned in my seat to meet David’s eyes. We stared at each other in silence, allowing the surreality

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Ghostly Remnants

My ten-year high-school reunion was much like a paper cut: I wondered how it had come to be, I suffered through the discomfort, and, once it was over, I was quick to forget it. David, at

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Watch the Damn Movie

My trepidation intensified with each mile of freeway. I sighed in David’s direction once, twice, then sighed a third time, and he finally asked me what was up. “What if they’re talkers? Talkers are the worst,”

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My Sudden Torment

“What are you going to do today?” It was a simple question. It begged for a simple response, something positive, something short, along the lines of how one might answer — at least in polite society

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Sights Not Unseen (like Butt Sharpies)

“Did you go down another rabbit hole?” I lifted my gaze to peer over my laptop screen at David, who was smirking down at me. He sighed, and then ever so slightly turned his head to

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Birthday Boil

We were using the mirror on the wall to take a group selfie when Brisa, the spa director, arrived with the mimosas. Brisa handed me, Jane, and Heather our drinks and had just turned to hand

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Lord of the Prize

Simon had to turn sideways in order to fit the freakish creature through the front door of my mother’s house. All the kids were in the backyard, so Simon — my sister Jane’s husband — swiftly

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