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Blog Archives

One Year Later

It had been a long while — almost a year — since I’d last seen the pig. “Is he still drinking?” I asked Sara. “Not really,” she said. “Not like he used to.” “Good,” I said.

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Pony

It was an odd time and place for us to be having breakfast. Our norm is Greek honey yogurt with blueberries, sliced banana, and crushed almonds at around 9 a.m. But because of a particularly hectic

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The Nerve

“Oh no she didn’t,” I said to my screen. “What? Who?” David was seated in a chair five feet behind me. I stepped to the right of my standing desk so he could see my computer.

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Buff Enough

It felt scandalous, my going to an Oscars party when I’d only seen one of the films nominated for Best Picture. It was a fluke I even saw the one — David and I had gotten

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Original Lady

We huddled by the frosted glass door just inside of the entrance to a man’s home we’d met only 15 minutes before. It had been Shawn’s idea to stash us two doors down. Our temporary host

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Itty-Bitty Committee

I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement. — Oscar Wilde I kept my eyes on the road while David called out numbers. “We’re looking for 976, so it’s probably going to be on the

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Die, Ralph, Die

Kevin looked more confused than surprised when he found me on his doorstep. “Are you C.C.’s chauffer?” He gestured at my father, who was standing behind me. Though I had indeed done the driving, it wasn’t

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Friendlies

It seemed like an innocuous deed, posting a link to my friend’s video on my Facebook wall. Nice, even. I’d go so far as to say it was the opposite of reprehensible. The link was accompanied

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Little Lady Flask

I watched as Kimberly made her way across the parking area and over to our door. I wasn’t surprised to see her carrying a giant box, the girth of which forced her to crane her neck

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Dog Humping 101

I’ve always assumed that dogs only mounted stuffed animals, people, or other dogs when they were “in the mood.” But, thanks to my friend Andy and his pal Ricky (who ceaselessly humps our friend Claire), I’ve

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