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Diary of a Diva

Bad Santa

Love looks forward hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head. — Mignon McLaughlin Everything had been going so well. The Seattle sky was uncommonly clear for December. The overall atmosphere was festive and

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Comet Courtesy

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. — English proverb I was yanked into consciousness — adrenaline tensed my muscles for fight or flight, and my heart was pumping fast, as though I’d stumbled off

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Turkey Tempest

Turkey, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary An impasse had been

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Daddy Dogma

There are no facts, only interpretations. — Friedrich Nietzsche ‘You want some eggs with that ketchup?” “Very funny, Four-Eyes,” Dad said, using the nickname he gave me when I got my first pair of glasses in junior

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Breast Defense

Were not I thine only nurse, I would say thou hadst suck’d wisdom from thy teat. — William Shakespeare I was standing in the kitchen, weighing the exertion of making my own coffee against the effort of

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American Woman

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. — Bill Clinton Visiting four countries over the span of five weeks led me to one astonishing revelation: I am proud

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Non Capisco

I speak two languages, Body and English. — Mae West Exposed as I was to the elements, I was relieved it wasn’t raining, but I was thankful for the clouds, which muted the sun’s glare just enough

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Swede Life

There is no such thing as a weird human being; it’s just that some people require more understanding than others.— Tom Robbins I gazed out the rain-streaked window and watched a colorful collection of birds peck

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Roxanne

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.— Jerry Falwell Braced against the elements with newly acquired rubber-toed boots, bright red scarf, and a wooden-handled umbrella whose underside was

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French Fashionista

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain She looked amused. Or terrified. It was hard to tell. I had only spent three, maybe four hours with her, tops. Rather

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