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Blog Archives

Please Explain

It’s my belief that it’s only polite to affix an explanatory license plate holder around an ambiguous license plate. If I can’t decipher your jumbled, vowel-free catchphrase at a glance, your money has been wasted. In

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Buff Bandits

When I saw “Card Services” on the Caller ID, I assumed spending money on the other side of the country had spooked one of my credit card accounts into thinking there was a possible fraud. When

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Last and First

The deed is done. Last night David and I slept in our new home for the first time. We have moved the bulk of our things from the Egyptian (the name of our old condo building) to Pandorica (the nickname

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Just Like Dad

It’s a common question: “What’s your dad do?” It’s natural for people to inquire after another’s parents, to gather information to assist in making those assessments of others that are in our nature to make. It’s

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OMG Adorbz

As with most people who hover over a computer for hours on end, I have my visual vices. Unlike dudes, who probably go straight to the porn sites (I’m not saying I don’t, just that it’s

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Worst Dressed

“Oh, boy, guess what!” Robert called from his living room throne, a modern recliner on which he is stationed much of the time. Ency, David, and I were in the next room, hunching over a thousand-piece

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Facial Party

The story is as old as Avon. A salesperson slips into your social sphere, and the “social” invitations follow. But these aren’t casual, gather-round-the-teapot chatter fests – they’re nets cast far and wide, for the sole purpose

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Terribly Absurd

When things go so wrong, when the chasm between expectation and reality reaches such ludicrous depths, the only sane thing left to do is laugh. Hysterically. This is especially easy to do when you realize that

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Joy Ride

You just can’t trust people. Beneath every bit of apparent altruism, of friendliness and good intentions, under the layers of pretense we spend a lifetime collecting and carefully positioning…we are, each of us, in every situation,

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Potty Humor

  I looked at the device in my hand and then up at my father. “There’s no picture, it’s just all black,” I said. “I know, I know, it’s just sound. Go on, press play.” He

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