Whew! Two days of eating takes the piss out of you. The week has gotten away from me. My column this week, called INNER CHILD, was published in the Reader a day early, and here I am posting it three days later. It’s a silly one, about how I buy toys, supposedly for my niece, but end up keeping them. Oh, and how much I wish I was the Little Mermaid. I made a video, of course, documenting some of the items I have stashed in my office, and a scene from my niece’s 5th birthday party. Here it is, for your brief viewing pleasure:

This was the first Thanksgiving in FIVE years that I’ve spent with my family, and David’s first EVER. We had a wonderful time. It was so relaxing, so fun, so much laughter and eating, my God, the eating. Two weeks in the gym might help me break even on that one. The carbs are killer. I seriously thought I was going to be sick last night, and well, that’s just wrong. I realize I’m not used to all that sugar, my daily diet primarily contains turkey and veggies, eggs, cheeses, wine. Not PIE with CREAM. I sure did shock my system. What fun. This morning we woke up, walked to Bread & Cie, then went right back down to my mother’s, for reasons I want to write about, but David doesn’t want me to. All the more reason for me to. Because if he finds it horrifying, then chances are, others will find it funny. And it is such the better story then, “Oh, Thanksgiving was so great, and blah blah blah.” So much better to say, “You will not BELIEVE what David did, and how I punished him for it, and how the family reacted in a completely unexpected manner by embracing him for his follies.” Yes, the more I think about it, the more I realize there’s no other way. I’ve got to go there. If only so I can laugh about it out LOUD, and by out LOUD, I mean in PUBLIC. Hee hee hee. HA! Poor David.