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Freeway Phone Freaks
Multitasking arises out of distraction itself. — Marilyn vos Savant I tried my best to tune her out, though I knew my efforts were futile — my sister’s voice screeches skyward every time she’s on
11
May
May
Prank Queen
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. — Mark Twain I rolled over, reached my arm out from beneath the
13
Apr
Apr
Cookie Momster
Forced capitalism mixed with equal parts fear and guilt and junk-food vice is a darn fine way to make your way in the world. — Mark Morford It’s not hard to find a source for guilty
16
Mar
Mar
See Jane Run
Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it. — Oprah Winfrey I stood at my window, phone against my ear, and looked down at the street
5
Jan
Jan
In The Hostage Zone
What is a home without children? Quiet. — Henny Youngman I didn’t even have a chance to finish saying “Yo” before Jane cut me off — “Help,” she said. I could tell by the panic in
8
Dec
Dec
Fashion Police
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain “Jane’s waiting for me downstairs. I’ll see you in a few hours,” I said, kissing David on each cheek. David
10
Nov
Nov
The Village Pig
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. — Winston Churchil Bella held a mini carrot over the pygmy pig’s head, but as the animal’s mouth
13
Oct
Oct
Seismic Sensation
We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. — Ralph Waldo Emerson I felt the tremor in my feet before I heard the familiar groan in the walls — my home bracing itself for a shake. Pre-tremble creak
Guilty Pleasure
Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man. — Erica Jong The phone rang. I grabbed the receiver, glanced across the counter at David, and said, “Two guesses.” “Don’t need
Suburban Dream
Towered cities please us then,/ And the busy hum of men. — John Milton The flags marked the transition from one kingdom to the next. I knew the meaning of all the colors and symbols in
