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Blog Archives

Freeway Phone Freaks

  Multitasking arises out of distraction itself. — Marilyn vos Savant I tried my best to tune her out, though I knew my efforts were futile — my sister’s voice screeches skyward every time she’s on

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Prank Queen

  April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. — Mark Twain I rolled over, reached my arm out from beneath the

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Cookie Momster

Forced capitalism mixed with equal parts fear and guilt and junk-food vice is a darn fine way to make your way in the world. — Mark Morford It’s not hard to find a source for guilty

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See Jane Run

Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it. — Oprah Winfrey I stood at my window, phone against my ear, and looked down at the street

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In The Hostage Zone

What is a home without children? Quiet. — Henny Youngman I didn’t even have a chance to finish saying “Yo” before Jane cut me off — “Help,” she said. I could tell by the panic in

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Fashion Police

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain “Jane’s waiting for me downstairs. I’ll see you in a few hours,” I said, kissing David on each cheek. David

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The Village Pig

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. — Winston Churchil Bella held a mini carrot over the pygmy pig’s head, but as the animal’s mouth

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Seismic Sensation

We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. — Ralph Waldo Emerson I felt the tremor in my feet before I heard the familiar groan in the walls — my home bracing itself for a shake. Pre-tremble creak

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Guilty Pleasure

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man. — Erica Jong The phone rang. I grabbed the receiver, glanced across the counter at David, and said, “Two guesses.” “Don’t need

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Suburban Dream

Towered cities please us then,/ And the busy hum of men. — John Milton The flags marked the transition from one kingdom to the next. I knew the meaning of all the colors and symbols in

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